There's something about Carrie Prejean that makes us suspicious. Much as her book-flap copy might like to believe, our eyebrows are not cocked because of the former pageant queen's beliefs.
Look, Sarah Palin 's an acquired taste, too, but we're not driven to concoct wild theories about why she's doing Oprah next week. In that case, we'd only be suspicious if Palin didn't do Oprah. As in, can you believe her sex-tape scandal broke four days before her book-flap copy—and the rest of the tome—was published?
And can you believe Prejean appeared on Sean Hannity to talk about how humiliated she was to be talking on Sean Hannity about her sex-tape scandal—on the very same day Still Standing hit stores? To clarify, we can and do believe that both things happened because they did.
But we are suspicious as to why they happened. And, more specifically, as to when they happened. Let's say you're Carrie Prejean, and it's been a slow couple of months. Maybe you've even been thinking of reading one. You've got work to do. And then you're done. Your book about the trials and tribulations of being you are done, and you can't understand why it took Tolstoy, like, a hundred years to write War and Peace. You've got a book to sell. Ah, but now you've got a problem. You're old news.
Your dustup with Perez Hilton seems like a million YouTube views ago. Your clashes with the Miss California organization are boring to anyone outside of the tiara circle. Your best publicity bet of the fall—the pageant people demand to be reimbursed for your breast-enhancement surgery—fizzles. A busty beauty queen who's not percent natural? How unnovel. You're stuck. And, worse, the clock is ticking. Your book is due out Nov. Palin's Going Rogue — Going Rogue , oh, how you must envy that title! That gives you only about a week to command the public's attention as the victim of the liberal press.
What to do? How to top a former vice-presidential candidate who killed in the talent competition during her own pageant days? And you pause to admire each woman's enduring fame. And you start to think.
No, Thanks. Nein, danke. Non, merci. No, gracias. Si No. Translate to English Translate to English Impressum.